A Little Bit About Me...

One of the most amazing things to watch is the monarch migration as it passes through Oklahoma.

I spotted the first few butterflies late last week.

The number of Monarchs is increasing daily.

Maybe, one of these days, I will find a tagged Monarch butterfly.

Peak migration dates for my area have been estimated to be September 24th thru October 6th.

It is truly a marvelous wonder to know that an insect will travel thousands of miles to a predetermined destination that it has never even seen.




I view my world a lot differently than most people do. I am a whole lot different than my brother and my sister. I guess I kind of stick out or something. I have never really fit in. It's kind of weird. For the most part, I think I was just born that way, but I am sure that there are several external factors that have contributed to this.

I was severely burned when I was about 20 months old. It left a very bad scar on the right side of my face.

I also have keloid type skin which I probably inherited from my native American ancestry.

I developed a severe keloid scar from the burn. So I spent a lot of time at plastic surgeons' offices as well as in the operating room while they tried to arrest the growth of the keloid. They even injected drugs into the tender scar which hurt really, really bad. One time they were taking me back to "that room" and I turned and ran down the hall as fast as I could. I don't remember them catching me though. Mom didn't take me back for those injections again.

Several years passed with unsuccessful results. Finally, someone suggested that radiation was having some success with arresting the growth of tumors and the like. So off to the radiologist's office I was taken. One session with the cold hard surface of the table, lead plates, and a x-ray machine's cone close to my face and I didn't have to go back in for surgery again. Granted, nothing that I endured made my scar look any better. But I guess it didn't make things look any worse. I was in the second grade when I had the last surgery on my face.

School was hell for me.

The kids were mean and hateful and they called me all sorts of names.

However, if someone picked on me physically I most certainly was a force to reckon with. Thankfully I only changed schools a couple of times. The other kids learned from the unfortunate one to not ever touch me again.

One of the things that I learned in school was how to be mean and hateful.

It also taught me how to get along without friends. So I became accustomed to being alone with my thoughts.

Being an outcast in a society means that you don't participate in activities with everyone else. This also means that you don't get caught up in the "craze" of the hour, fashions, fads, or music.

So I don't do a lot of things that most folks do. Things like buying CD's, going to movies, attending social gatherings...

You know what I mean don't you?

Of course, over the years the scar on my face was not as much of a factor to me as it once was.

At least I thought it wasn't.

When I had the surgery for the brain tumor I was thrust once again into a state of disarray.

I recovered from anesthesia with palsy on the left side of my face. I looked like I had had a stroke.

While some tone has returned, I still cannot blink my eye, work my mouth properly and a few other things.

I am 100% deaf now in my left ear, so I miss out on a lot of conversation and banter that goes on around me at work.

Not only that, but I have to deal with the memory deficits that I encounter on a daily basis. And I still have balance issues that drains my energy just holding myself upright and fighting the force of gravity in this world.

It will be three years post-surgery in November.

So...

I am finding that I am reverting back to my old ways and becoming very withdrawn.

Actually isolating myself.

But it's peaceful here...

And quiet too.

Being deaf in one ear makes a lot bigger impact on you than one might think. There's a reason why God made your ears in stereo.


So... that's the abbreviated version of why I am the way that I am.


Why did I have to explain all of this stuff to you guys?

Well, it's because I have a hard time participating in some of the activities that you guys engage in.

For the most part, I really do try to participate. But sometimes it's near impossible for me to do so.

And I really don't want anyone to get their feelings hurt or to be offended in any way if I don't/can't join in.





By the way...


~Food for Thought~


Do you realize that the guy who made the coup in Thailand, General Sondhi, is a Muslim?

Thailand's population is mostly Buddhist.


Just like the United States of America is mostly Christian.



later...