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Sunday, July 22, 2012

Looking for Love ... in all the wrong places??

So...   those who know me best know that my last kid has 'flown the coop'. 


I had decided...many years ago...  that I would not date, have a boyfriend, or consider remarrying until all of my children had left home.   There were many reasons in my decision, one of them being that I did not want to put my children through the "step-parent/blended family" thing.   Be it right, or be it wrong, it was a decision that I had made and one that I "stuck" to.


Now I am ready to embark on a new chapter in my life...


I have joined a few dating websites, read lots of profiles, chatted with quite a few men, and gone on some 'real life' dates.   This process is quite interesting... to say the least.


Anyway...  my main purpose in this post is not to talk about the "legitimate" men I have met... it is to shed light on an "illegitimate" man that struck up a conversation with me. 


Super nice guy...   personable...  a good conversationalist...   someone I would like to meet.


...but...


I couldn't find a trace about him on the internet.    None of these websites do background checks on their "members", so you are left to your own resources to check these people out.   I start with Google and the Department of Justice's Sex Offender Registry search engine.   (By the way...  I have been contacted by registered sex offenders as well.)  In this case, the name that was given to me did not turn up ANY information... nothing.   Not a blurb, not an inference, absolutely nothing.


That "non-finding" made me suspicious of this person.    Plus...  his syntax was 'different'.   Thinking, thinking, thinking...  that I should just drop the conversation completely...but curiosity in solving the mystery made me try to figure out who this person was.   Finally, it dawned on me to check the header of his e-mails... and find out if they had come from the IP location he said he was at.


Voila!     So he WAS lying to me!     His IP address originated from Lagos, Nigeria.   Yes...  I had been targeted by a "Nigerian Romance Scammer".  


C'est la vie ...  


So...   below I offer up his "introductory e-mail" which I am sure he uses over and over again and his e-mail address ...  so that those who are trying to research this man's identity will find this information and be able to compare their notes.   I am still considering whether or not I want to post the pictures that he provided.  I am still undecided at this time on that matter as I am sure they belong to some unaware soul.   I am positive that he will change his name/identity, but I trust that this information will continue to be useful to other online daters such as me.

Later...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Name used:   Leonard Collins
E-mail used:  leonardcollins47@yahoo.com
Location Reported:   Houston, Texas
Dating Website:   eHarmony

Hello TJ, 

Thanks for sharing your mail with me as i could best write you here and share alot about myself.... I woke up earlier to write more about me.... Hope your internet is working perfectly now... I hope it does get better so that we can communicate more.

  Hmmmm okay here goes a little about me..........I have my master degree in Chemical and construction Engineering ,working as a consultant to an oil company and a contractor. I have a daughter that is still schooling,Stella 15years of age, but my being lonely makes everyday being bored. I belief with God all things are possible. I was born and raised in Germany  by my beloved parents whom have widen my spiritual and intellectual part in different form. My dad met my mom in France when he went on UN mission in Paris and they have a wonderful meeting which led to there acquaintances and bring about a good relationship.I came to Texas 5years back after i got retired from Texaco oil company in Nashville TN and decided to work on a self contract basis since then and looking forward to my retirement few month from now and i want to live my life to the fullest with a woman that will love me for who i am not what i have.

I have been fortunate to have had a great life! And the foundation for that came from amazing, loving parents who had a great partnership of nearly 60 years (45 when my dad died at age 90). Their great partnership (not without ups/downs, disagreements,many negotiations and compromises) provided my brother, sister, and myself with a good model of a how a solid marriage is formed and maintained. And none of the 3 of us are divorced! Great role models! (my marriage ended by death/I am a widow). Our parents raised us to be strong, confident, successful people, backed us up, encouraged us to take risks, and instilled the belief in us that "you can do anything you want "(e.g. achievements in work or personal life). Kind of lucked out! As Robert Frost said "and that has made all the difference."

I am a loving, caring, understanding and fun man to be with. I don’t like monotony so I’m always on the run. You’ll capture my heart with just a right touch and I’ll highly reward you with attention, affection and wonderful unconditional love because my soul is yearning for a companion and more kindness, thoughtfulness and passion is all in my core. All of these are mere compliments, I will rather wait till I get to know you better but I also admire some qualities in a woman.

Though I get lonely at times but that still doesn't make me want to settle for less of whom I've been looking for all my life which means I'm not just seeking for anyhow woman but someone who will give me butterflies each time I think of her. Someone who is honest, caring, sincere, loyal, lovable and trustworthy who has a zest for life. I want to be with a good loving and trustworthy woman, someone that belief in herself as well as her husband, someone who will love me for who I am and not what I have. A risk-taker who isn't afraid to fail because if she does, I’ll be right there to pick her up and encourage her to keep it up till she succeed in her plan/endeavor in a positive manner. Someone who likes to walk on beach, walk in the park and have great conversation. Someone to cheer me up when I'm down and vice-versa, someone we can talk like a father and mother, husband and wife and a great companion. Someone we can both go fishing together, dine wine and enjoy life to its fullest in our home and not a cold woman.

I've learned that trust, acceptance, admiration, and an I've-always-got-your back attitude must be built and maintained (and often rebuilt!) in order for a relationship to be solid. And that when it gets really, really hard you stay, not only because you promised you would but because there isn't any other way to make it work. A favorite song lyric by folk singer Patty Griffin sums it up for me: "If you break down, I'll drive out and find you. If you forget my love I'll try to remind you, and I'll stand by you when it don't come easy.

I hope I haven't ask for much. I'll be looking forward to read from you.

PS - I attached my picture on here we could not view each other's photo... You can send me yours too.
Best regards
Leonard.



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2 Comments:

Blogger Bob and Barb said...

I would like to use your tarantula pictures on the Master Naturalist blog at Springfieldmn.blogspot.com. I would of course credit you.

September 06, 2012 12:20 PM  
Blogger It's me, T.J. said...

That would be fine... please send me a URL of where the photograph is used. I would appreciate that.

And thank you for asking permission.

September 07, 2012 11:29 AM  

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